幽默笑話/英文笑話/Understanding Women
【標題】：Understanding Women
【簡介】：At long last... The Men`s G...
【正文】：At long last... The Men`s Guide to what a woman really means whenshe says something.Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).You want = You wantWe need = I wantIt`s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious bynow.Do what you want = You`ll pay for this later.We need to talk = I need to complainSure... go ahead = I don`t want you to.I`m not upset = Of course I`m upset, you moron!You`re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.You`re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever thinkabout?I`m not emotional! And I`m not overreacting! = I`m on my period.Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, andwallpaper.....I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade ofwhite.Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.Do you love me? = I`m going to ask for something expensive.How much do you love me? = I did something today you`re reallynot going to like.I`ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a goodgame on T.V.Is my butt fat? = Tell me I`m beautiful.You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.Are you listening to me!? = ［Too late, you`re dead.］Yes = NoNo = NoMaybe = NoI`m sorry. = You`ll be sorry.Do you like this recipe? = It`s easy to fix, so you`d better getused to it.Was that the baby? = Why don`t you get out of bed and walk himuntil he goes to sleep.I`m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this isimportant.All we`re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without sayingthat we`re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoedepartment, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGODthose pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did youbring your checkbook?(The answer to "What`s wrong?")The same old thing = NothingNothing = EverythingEverything = My PMS is acting upNothing, really = It`s just that you`re such an assholeI don`t want to talk about it = Go away, I`m still building upsteam
【序號】：338